Life of A Psychoctic Red Head Easter sidefic
by TheFallenangel927
Summary: Ever wonder how Easter goes in the house of Tala? Well, come and see.


**Me: So here's another holiday fic. And since that it's me and everyone knows that I never do these according to the actual holidays or if there is a holiday at all. This story is an EASTER DAY Holiday fic. The only thing I do relative to the actual holidays, except decorate. In fact I'm making Christmas wreaths out of Hershey kisses and if anyone dares eat this off of my door. I will shoot you. **

**Rei: Is that really an extreme that you need to take?**

**Me: Yes because it takes five days to make a five by five wreath and at least seventy dollars worth of Hershey kisses to buy. **

**Rei: O.o And you do this because?!**

**Me: I like working with my hands.**

**Rei: .....you're crazy.  
**

**Me: Thank on with the Easter fic!!!  
**

**Tala: So now I suddenly celebrate Easter. I thought that I was going to be an atheist in the last holiday fic.**

**Me: You decided not to be one. You are now Catholic.**

**Tala:...Do you even know what Catholics do on Easter?**

**Me: Um. Eat crackers?  
**

**Tala: (sweat drop)**

**Me: ANYWAYS! Time for the disclaimer! TYSON!**

**Tyson: Yes?**

**Me: Hold on. What am I thinking? Tyson can't read.**

**Tyson: I can too.**

**Me: No you can't because I said so. Now go away. I'll do the disclaimer myself. This little piggy went to market. This little piggy went to a show. This little piggy screamed I don't own! All the way home.**

* * *

I opened my eyes to be suddenly blinded by a bright colorful arrangement of colors.

"Now the blue ones go over here Rei." said Brooklyn.

"Are you sure that he's not going to get mad at us?"

Me get mad at Rei? My precious adorable little Rei? My Rei who existence is the sun in my sky, the air that I breathe and the water that I drink. I can never get mad at Rei. Brooklyn on the other hand...

"No. He'll love it." Brooklyn said.

You know what where the hell is Yang? Usually she's in here preventing these things.

"Brooklyn. The green should go over there." Yang said

...I swear that this is some giant conspiracy against me or something.

"You sure? I was thinking of more on that wall"

What the? My wall?

"No. She's right. It'll clash with the pink and yellow." said Rei.

PINK and YELLOW?! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE?! I bolted up right as my senses were suddenly attacked by a rainbow assortment of colors. I closed my eyes tightly. White spots were behind my eyelids.

"See?" Brooklyn said, "He's so awed that he's speechless."

More like blinded! What the hell did you do to my room?! Why are there PINKS and YELLOWS on my wall?!

"Uh...I don't think so Brooklyn." said Rei.

Growling I snarled loudly.

"Get the hell out of my room!" I said.

"Now Tala. That's not nice." said Yang.

Well screw you. I don't feel like being nice when I can't open my eyes because of all the colors. Do you realize the headache that's going to come from this?

"Yeah, especially after we took all night redecorating!" Brooklyn chastised

"All night?! And I slept through this how?"

"Well it was a group effort. You see when--"

I cut Yang's explanation off with my hand. I seriously did not want to know.

"Just get out."

"But--"

"Get the hell out you freaks."

"Tala! Didn't I tell--"

"Get. The. Hell. Out. NOW!" I yelled at them.

Rei and Brooklyn scurried out the room like frightened rabbits and Yang remained to glare at me

Ugh. I need an aspirin

Groaning I blindly stumbled out of my room. Who the hell decided that my walls needed repainting? I happened to actually like the shade of white that they used to be. Could this morning get any worse?

"Good Morning Tala!" said Mariah.

Apparently so.

"What do you want?" I said exasperated

"Well someone's not a morning person."

"Say what you want and then leave me alone."

"Excuse me?" she said with a huff, "If you happen to remember that I am the—Hey! Don't you walk away from me Ivanov!"

Yeah, whatever. I seriously do not want to hear you're 'I am the captain' rant. It is too early in the morning for that. You know what, I take that back. I don't give a damn what time it is. I don't want to hear that rant ever.

"Tala" yelled Julia

Who? Oh wait, that's me. Dammit. I am starting to hate my name. Yes I (gathers up new sets of cue cards) the great and almighty Tala Jeremei Ivanov, former captain of the most feared team in beyblading, King of Ice, that does not waste his time on saying long descriptions so after going through five sets of large cue cards and 4 days later wrote this down in an attempt to save breath.

…I'm just going to quit at those.

"What are you doing today?"

"Nothing."

And it better stay that way.

"Good then maybe you can help me."

Sigh. Why fight it? I mean if I say no to her how much you want to bet that someone else is going to come around and bother me.

"With what?" I say regretfully

She holds up a piece of paper in my face that has the words 'BROOKYLN'S SCAVENGER HUNT' across the top.

Why me?

"You see last night Brooklyn snuck into our room and stole something of ours."

What? There's nothing missing in my room. In fact there seems to be an abundance of color in my room that wasn't there yesterday.

"Yeah so far he stole's Mariah's ribbon--"

"Wait! So are you telling those aren't cat ears on her head?"

Dammit. There goes my Nobel Prize.

Julia coughed to cover her laugh.

"I HEARD THAT TALA IVANOV!" Mariah yelled from somewhere in the confines of my home.

God, please don't let her be in my room. As a matter of fact, I hope she's in there. So that the colors can blind her and she can never blade again.

"Anyways! I was thinking we could work together seeing as some of your stuff is on this list as well."

"WHAT?"

I snatched the list out of her hand.

'_15. Yang's Spatula set._

_16. Tala's Wolborg_

_17. Axel and Demon_

_18. Rei's headband_

What the fuck? Okay today Brooklyn is taking this too far. I mean first he paints my room. Second he steals beyblade and my dogs?! How the hell did he manage to steal Demon?! That dog is half the size of me! And what's next? Is he actually going to start stealing people? Isn't there an actual word for that?

"You see so how about it? Me and you?" she said.

"Uh no. I'm good."

"Why?"

"Because I can easily find my dogs and if Brooklyn knows what's good for him he'll give me back my blade." I said

"Uh okay. Your fight, not mine." She said as she walked away.

Hm. I wonder if Rei's found out about this scavenger hunt yet. If not maybe I can help him look in a broom closet or something. Heh heh.

* * *

"Where is it?"

"I don't know."

"Your name is on the scavenger hunt."

"I swear it wasn't me!"

"Really?"

"You were with me last night, remember?"

"Oh right."

What the hell? Yang and…Brooklyn? Together? But isn't Bryan… Blackmail! I finally got blackmail on Yang! Woo hoo!

"We were decorating Tala's room."

…Never mind. Wait! If Brooklyn didn't do it (with my room being his alibi) then who did? Hm. I smell a mystery.

"Tala you can stop hiding in the hallway." Said Yang.

Oh. I smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of my head.

"So hey Brook--"

"It wasn't me."

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't even going to ask that.

"Have you seen Rei?" I asked

"No."

No? But aren't you two like best friends or something along those lines?

"Odd. Rei's been missing since this morning."

Really?

"WHAT? REI'S MISSING!" yelled Mariah storming in here just to scream in my ear

"YES, MARIAH! GLAD YOU CAME TO YELL IN MY FUCKING EAR!" I yelled in her ear

That hurt. My poor ears.

"When Rei's missing your ear become of no concern."

Excuse me? I am the great and—it's a hard habit to quit people.

"Can you two quit it for just one minute? We have a teammate missing and yet you two are arguing." Said Julia.

Stay out of this!" we yelled at the same time.

Oh My God! Someone shoot me. I just got in sync with Mariah. Does this mean that she's infecting me with her alien germs? Eww.

"So how are we going to go about this?" Brooklyn asked, "I mean does anyone know the place that he goes to usually?"

If you, the 'best friend' can't figure it out. We are screwed royally.

* * *

I ran around the park screaming Rei's name at the top of my lungs? What if Bio Volt kidnapped him? What if…he was getting eaten alive by rabid squirrels?!

…Okay. That was a strange thought even from me. I shall stay quiet now and just be on the lookout for my fuzzy cuddles aka Rei and before you say anything he does not know that I call him that. Please don't tell him. I would die from humiliation. Not that I haven't humiliated myself in front of him before. It's just that…stop laughing at me!

"Hey dude! Watch out!"

Huh?

I turned to see a Frisbee heading straight for my head. Unfortunately, it was too late to dodge and it hit me right in my lip and busted it wide open.

"Ouch." I muttered as I instinctively began to suck on my abused lower lip.

"Aw man. I am so sorry sir I didn't mean…" the kid was yelling as he ran towards me.

The kid just stared at my face when he got close enough.

What? Did the Frisbee do more damage than I thought?

"You're Tala Ivanov!" he said

No really. I thought I was Barack Obama. Nice to know that I'm still me the great and—Dammit! I will stop saying that!

"Can I get your autograph?"

"No."

The kid, who had to be at the most eight or nine, tried to pull the puppy dog face on me. Sorry but I grew up with Yang and that was her technique to get things before she discovered her inhuman strength.

Question: Do you realize that while females are considered to be the weaker sex, when they get angry or they want something really badly they somehow develop super human strength? Seriously, I remember how Yang knocked Rei out with one single punch because she just wanted her damn spatula. (1)

"Please."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why" I repeated.

I know what you're thinking. What a jerk! He's a kid for Christ sake! Well people sell things with my autograph or things that supposedly belonged to me online. I once saw an eraser that was said to have been used by me online for over ten thousand dollars. Seriously, I don't understand what the hype is. I never thought that something of mine would be worth that much and still we don't know how they get these items. I swear it's these little kids. They're using them we give them auto…

Just got a brilliant idea.

"Hey kid!" I yelled.

The kid turned around.

"What?"

"What's your name?"

"Matthew"

"Matthew," I said. "Do you still want that autograph?"

* * *

"Do you see him?" I yelled up a tree.

Yes, I bribed a little kid into climbing a tree so I wouldn't have to walk all over the park. I know. I am brilliant. You can all bow to me now.

"No!"

"Look in this direction!" I said pointing to what I think is north.

He turns and wobbles slightly. I'm kind of worried for him. He's pretty high up.

"He's not there either!" he yelled.

"Okay! You can come back down!"

Where the hell is he? How hard is it to find a guy in a traditional Chinese outfit. Let alone a famous one. There should be a crowd of people around him for fuck sake.

_**Snap!**_

"AIEEEEEEE!"

HOLY SHIT!

I dived as I attempted to catch Matthew.

Keyword: Attempted.

Instead I dived to early and instead of landing safely in my arms. Matthew landed on my back and unfortunately I landed face first in the ground.

I really hope that I didn't scar my face. I mean do you realize that I had to get skin surgery done on my face due to my match with Garland.

"I'M SOOOOO SORRY !" Matthew yelled in my ear

Sigh. I am going to go deaf one day. I mean I have to deal with the crowds at stadiums and whenever some fan girls decide to find me. Then there's Mariah and occasionally Julia. There's Tyson and Max whenever there's a party and now this kid. I think I better start learning sign language or something.

"ARE YOU OKAY?!"

"Yeah, no need to yell." I said exasperatedly

I've been through worse.

"Oh my god! I am so sorry! I have to make it up to you!"

Heke? (2) Make it up to me? Make up what?

"Come on!" he said as he started to pull on my arm.

* * *

"I think he might be in here!" Matthew said as he dragged me in to yet another building.

I'm starting to regret using this kid to find Rei. I mean I've been out here for hours and yet there's been no sign of him. I'm getting worried. What if those rabid squirrels ate him? Or if BioVolt really did kidnap him? I mean I wouldn't put it past them. They've kidnapped all the blade breakers or their bit beasts at one point. I guess they just realized that they haven't got to Rei's yet.

"So where to next?" he said

I don't know. So far I've been dragged around by you all day.

"I know."

"Hey kid. Kid! Matthew!" I said as he started to go on another round of 'I know where Rei is!'

"Yes?"

"Look here's my autograph"

"But he's—"

"No it's fine."

Take it kid. I want to go home!

"He's right there!"

"Look kid I--"

Wait a minute! Right where?! Dammit! Where is Axel when you need him? Oh right. He's been dog-napped.

"See?" He said pointing to where I saw Rei swiftly leave the store.

Oh. My. God. It is him!

I ran after Rei.

"Rei!" I yelled but he ran faster.

Hey! Don't run! I just wanna play with you!...Okay even I found that a little creepy. I mean think about it. Only in horror movie villains such as Chuckie from Child's Play says lines like that. Sigh. I need a hobby or something so I can stop rambling on.

Well besides my creepy little line. Why the fuck is he running from me? Did he find out? Is he not gay? NOOOOOOOOO! Don't cry. Do not cry Ivanov! Everything is going to be okay. You can cuddle up to your Rei plushie that's hidden under the bed.....What? Don't you have a Rei plushie too? Everyone should have a Rei plushie.

Rei suddenly stopped running and just decided to turn around and face me.

"Dammit Rei," I said panting for air, "What the hell was that about."

"I know what you want."

What? Oh god. Please tell my I was wrong earlier. Please.

"...I have no idea what you--"

"Don't play stupid." he said cutting me off.

Uh-oh. He knows.

"It wasn't my idea in the first place." he said

....Okay then. I am wrong.

"Rei. What the hell are you talking about?"

"Tala. Tell me what day is today."

"...Sunday?"

"It's the last Sunday of March."

Okay and I care because?

"It's Easter." he said exasperated

...I still don't get it. What the hell does Easter have to....HOLY SHIT! EASTER SCAVENGER HUNT! DUH! I feel smart... Shut up. I can hear you laughing at me. It's not very nice!

"So..." he says trying to slide away.

"Hey!" I said grabbing his arm, "Where are you going?"

After all you probably know where all the stuff is. Yes I know. I put together two or more thoughts and came up with a conclusion. Shocker! The great and Almighty Tala Ivanov (pulls out cue cards) is an idiot who needs to learn that his titles are too long for his own good.

.....DAMMIT! IS THIS THE HOLIDAY THAT EVERYONE DECIDES TO PRANK TALA?!

"Tala. I can't tell you where--"

"Please Rei." I say pouting.

"Tala I..." he falters after I bat my eyelashes," ...Fine, your dogs are in the warehouse at the docks."

"And my blade."

"In Mariah's room."

FUCK!

* * *

Okay people! (puts on an Australian accent) We are heading into dangerous territory! Here lies the infamous she-devil alien! This is her habitat. See how she marks here territory! (Points to her closet that says Enter at own risk) Blimey! I think that she might take her kills in there and savagely devours them.....Let's check it out!

I open the closet door to find a shrine all dedicated to Rei. With candles and a Rei doll.

.....And I thought I was obsessed. This is just disturbing. I mean she had a life size doll here with a picture of Rei for it's face and is that his pubic hair?! How the hell did she get that?! And it comes with a mock driger blade that looks suspiciously like Wolborg.....

I am so killing Brooklyn.

"Tala! What the hell are you doing in here?"says Julia scaring the daylights out of me.

I jump and quickly turn around and face Julia.

"Nothing...Just trying to get my blade."

"Sure you aren't sniffing her underwear you pervert."

I shudder.

"Ew. Seriously, come and see."

Julia looked inside and almost hurled.

"Oh god. Has she no life?"

Exactly my thoughts.

"You know the way it looks. your blade has probably been there for a while." she said.

"What do you mean?"

"By the looks of it the....hair was the last thing she got and seeing that it's on you blade too."

Oh god.....Wait! So how did Rei know unless....were those hairs willing given?! Rei! You have to learn how to say no!

"...I am not touching that."

"Then you have a dilemma there." she said

"Wait! Can you get it for me?"

"Why?"

"Because she'll skin me alive, leave my skin in a Prada bag on a train station platform, come back to chop me into little pieces, label me on how to put me back together and stuff me in a closet for the police or some poor unfortunate soul to find me."

"....Where the hell--"

"Suicide Club." (3)

"Oh." she said, "Then I'm definitely not touching it."

"But she won't do that to you."

"And what makes you think that?"

"You're the only female on the team outside of Yang and with you gone she'll only have Yang to talk girl things with."

"Good point. Still not doing it."

I know I'm going to regret ever saying these words but....

"I'll make it worth your while."

"Hm....fine." she said grabbing the blade and blowing the hair off of it.

"My blade?" I said stretching out my hand.

"Not until I get what I want." she said smirking evilly.

Oh god.

* * *

Why am I here? I have learned the hard way to never make a deal with the devil.

"Stay still!"

"NO!"

"Then Wolborg is mine!"

I glare at Julia who is attaching a fake lizards tail to my costume. Yes a lizards tail. I think that I'm supposed to be her pet dragon or something for the day and what the hell?! I know I'm gay but that is pushing the limit!

"Tala! Stop moving!"

"What the hell are you trying to do?!"

"Well.... I've always wanted a Charmander and since you have such lovely orange--"

"First off it's red, not orange. Emily's is orange. Second, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING WOMAN?!"

"I'm thinking that a certain red head better stay still while I attach the tiki torch burner to the tail and light it."

"But the costume while catch fire!"

"Not my problem" she says lighting the torch and sticking it into the tail. The stick reaching my ass and virtually raping me.

This is so not cool. At least no one can--

_**FLASH**_

"What the hell?"

"I need proof that I have a Charmander. Now go downstairs!"

"Isn't this enough?" I say watching the flame at the tip of my tail.

"No now get!" she says pushing me into the hallway and closing her door.

"Julia! Open up!"

"Tala?" Yang says coming down the hall.

Oh no! Uh...think Tala think.

"Charmander char?" I say

Did that just come out of my mouth? What the hell?!

"Oh my god! This is priceless!" she says collapsing in a fit out laughter.

"Yang! Help me!"

"Why?"

"Because I know who has the stuff and I can get it for you."

"Hn?"

"What is up with your family and that word?"

She raises a fine eyebrow.

"Please?"

"Fine but only because you know where my spatula's are at."

* * *

(An hour and 12 pictures later)

"...So if I just bribe Rei I can get my spatula's back?"

"Yes" I say sitting on my bed

"...I should dress you up in that suit again."

"Why?"

"I was going to do that anyways."

"Oh" I say looking for a distraction, "Well my dogs were at the docks so..."

"Fine." she says storming off.

"Charmander! Where'd you go?"

Fuck! It's Julia! I jump of my bed and scramble underneath it. Please don't let her find me. I watched my door open and her feet move around my room.

"Aha!" she yelled as she yanked the closet door open, "No. He's not here."

I stopped breathing as her feet stopped directly in front of my bed.

"Julia! Get out of Tala's room!" Yang yelled from the kitchen.

"How'd you know I was up here?"

"I have my ways. Now get out of there before I send Ten up there."

"fine!" she said turning around and leaving mumbling about how her charmander ran away.

You know what I'm just going to go to bed and hope that this was all a dream. I slide from under my bed and turn out the lights to discover one thing.

...The paint is glow in the dark. Joy.

* * *

**1- Read the main Life of A psychotic Red head**

**2- I got that from Hamtaro. Yes people I watched Hamtaro and liked it. Sue me.....Please don't do that.**

**3- That is a manga and a movie neither of which I own.  
**

**Me: And that is our Easter side fic! Well what did you think of it? **


End file.
